Look Who’s Talking
Title: Lions and Tigers and Ring Bears, Oh My!
Fandoms: Super Junior(main), DBSK, SHINee, BigBang.
Pairings: currently, Kangteuk, GTOP, Jaeho, but others developed and revealed later.
Genre: Comedy with mild angst and sap.
Summary: Kangin and Leeteuk are the picture perfect couple and they have it all, or so Kangin thought, until Leeteuk gets them into a situation involving several children, each with a mind of their own.
Warning: AU and sexual themes, some later chapters will contain sexual content.
A/N: Earlier chapters available ask and you shall receive.
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“You can’t take kids to a bridal shower.”
“They’d get in the way .”
Kangin had been oblivious to the rules that went along with such events. For his own wedding he hadn’t even been aware that there was going to be a bachelor party until he was tossed in the car with Seunghyun, Yunho and several cases of beer.
“So what am I supposed to do with them, all by myself?”
“You manage just fine when I’m at work,” (Leeteuk had a good point there) “and aren’t you supposed to be working on that tree house? There you go.” For some reason the idea of playing around with nails, hammers, and saws while keeping an eye on eight children wasn’t the coziest of thoughts. Leeteuk, however, didn’t seem to see that.
“How long will you be gone?”
“Well I have to go with Jaejoong to set the hall up at nine. The actual event starts at twelve and goes till five, but we have to stay and take care of some paperwork and such so I’ll be home around eight.”
Most of Leeteuk’s statement had been lost on Kangin. The only information he had caught was that he would be spending eleven hours alone with eight children. Someone save him.
“What are we going to do during the bachelor and bachlorette parties?”
“Taemin and Onew have offered to watch them for us.” Leeteuk smiled, “I think Onew is still afraid that we’re mad at him for writing about us.”
Kangin wanted to know if his neighbors were clinically insane; they must be for offering to take on eight children. Leeteuk flipped off the television and glanced around the room at his children, well six of them at least.
“Where are Heechul and Han Geng?” Leeteuk stood up, immediately worried.
“He’s with Han Geng, he can’t be in that much trouble.” Kangin tried to calm his husband.
“What if they were kidnapped or…”
“Put the other six in bed, I’ll go look for them; they can’t have gotten out of this house.” Kangin wasn’t worried, but he wanted to give Leeteuk peace of mind.
“Alright.” Leeteuk turned to gather the other six, half-asleep children while Kangin snuck out of the room.
His first guess would have been their shared bedroom but that didn’t produce any results apart from a slumbering raccoon. The bathroom was vacant as was his and Leeteuk’s room. They weren’t outside, or in any of the other kid’s rooms, when he couldn’t even find them in any of the clothes closets he began to feel some of the worry Leeteuk had earlier.
He decided it was time to get a flashlight from under the sink in the kitchen and begin to search the neighborhood. It wasn’t until he was in the kitchen that he realized he had forgotten to check for them in the kitchen.
Heechul was sitting at the table in his usual seat looking very annoyed and impatient. Han Geng was standing on the counter next to the stove, Kangin’s first instinct was to chastise him for being atop the counter in the first place but after a bit more inspection he had to rethink.
Han Geng was on the counter sitting next to the stove cross legged beside a large frying pan. No not sitting next to it, using it. The contents seemed to be rice, which Han Geng was stirring. Scattered across the counter were other ingredients such as soy sauce, eggs, and butter.
“Han Geng what are you...”
“Hankyung is cooking. Yah! Hurry up!”
“Why is he cooking?” Kangin turned his attention away from the well behaved child in favor of trying to understand the eviler of the two.
“Because I was hungry, and I wanted fried rice.”
“Why didn’t you ask Leeteuk or I?”
“Because I’d die if I ate our beloved Umma’s cooking, and you’re not good at it either.” Heechul said matter-of-factly. Kangin was slightly taken aback.
“How do you know Han Geng can cook?”
“He watches Tablo all the time, and he’s done it before.”
“Remember those times you fell asleep during ‘nap time’… yep.” Kangin couldn’t believe he had a three-year-old making meals underneath his own nose. A click as the stove was turned off switched his attention back.
“Finally; it sure took you a long time.”
“I had to figure out how to use the rice cooker this time.”
“Excuses, excuses.” Han Geng put some of the rice in a bowl, acting as if it were nothing that he had just been caught in the act of cooking.
“Would you like some Appa?”
“He does a good job.”
Han Geng reached up into the cupboard to retrieve another bowl and put rice into it as well. Kangin was still in shock he walked over and took the two bowls from his son and offered to help him down.
“I still don’t get why you never eat.”
“Because I unlike someone, actually eat my dinner.” Han Geng said with a smile as he began picking up and putting away the ingredients. Kangin tried to help but Han Geng refused asking instead that he ate, so he went dejectedly back to the table.
It was even more surprising as he took his first bite. “This is amazing.”
“I wouldn’t call it amazing, but it’s better than anything you’ve ever made.” Two glares were sent in Heechul’s direction. “What?!”
Leeteuk was off the next morning at nine and Kangin found himself in the back yard, with crude tools in hand and children playing all about him. He could only hope that they kept their distance.
‘Monkey… what are you doing?’ Donghae walked towards Eunhyuk who was walking oddly across the grass.
‘Practicing what exactly?’
‘My walking… for the wedding.’
‘You’re doing it all wrong! You’re the ring bear you have to act like a bear, silly monkey.’
‘It’s in the title, duh.’
‘How do you walk down the isle like a bear?’
‘On all fours of course.’ Donghae dropped to his hands to demonstrate, and he began crawling awkwardly across the lawn. Kangin looked over to notice this odd act, but figured he just had really strange children and went back to work picking out a tree.
‘But I have to carry a pillow…’
‘In your mouth, duh. Come on try it.’
Eunhyuk reluctantly got to his hands as well and imitated Donghae crawling across the lawn.
‘What are you two doing exactly…?’ Sungmin raised an eyebrow at his brother’s antics.
‘I’m helping Monkey prepare to be ring bear.’
‘You mean ring bearer don’t you.’
‘No, he’s the ring bear.’
‘Have you ever witnessed a wedding?’ Sungmin looked disbelieving.
‘No, but it says in the title he’s a ring bear.’
‘I’ve seen Mira marry Jung Suh’s father on Stairway to Heaven and they had a ring bearer, not a bear.’
‘Where’s the fun in that?!’
‘It’s tradition, it’s not supposed to be fun.’
‘Actually children are incorporated in the wedding to add purity to the ceremony.’ Kyuhyun looked up from his puzzle book.
‘Huh?’ Sungmin stared at his brother.
‘The purpose of children in the wedding party is to add innocence, the wedding party itself is to protect the couple from demons that supposedly wanted to ruin the wedding day for them.’
‘Kyu, I never knew you were a romantic.’
‘I’m not. It was in that book you not so subtly left on my bed.’
‘That one I kept trying to get you to read me? You read it without me!’
‘Learn to read for yourself; I’m not reading Romance novels to you!’
‘But Kyuhyun. Wait… you read a romance novel.’
‘Solely for research.’
‘What, may I ask, were you researching?’ Sungmin’s smirk was almost malevolent.
‘The world you live in that I cannot even begin to understand.’
‘Ouch, Kyu, that was mean.’
Kyuhyun shrugged his shoulders and returned to his puzzle book drowning, out the others. Sungmin sighed and walked away no longer having anything to entertain him, and Donghae and Eunhyuk decided to go off and play by Kangin.
The adult looked up when he heard giggling over the beating of his hammer, which he coincidentally dropped on his own foot at the sight of the ‘terrifying-two’.
“Ouch!...” The children looked up at Kangin who was forcing a smile despite the pain in his foot. “Eunhyuk, Donghae…. Why don’t you two go play over by the house? I’m using some dangerous tools over here and I don’t want you to get hurt.” He managed this all thickly through clenched teeth.
“Awppa…” Eunhyuk tilted his head to the side obviously noticing the grown man’s pain.
“Swungmin’s a meanie…” Donghae announced as if it were their reason for being over by him.
“I’m alright Eunhyuk.” Kangin lied, smiling at the child before looking around the yard for his fighter. Sungmin was spotted in the corner of the card practicing some sort of intricate flip/somersault.
“He’s over in the corner, go play by Kyuhyun, or Yesung and Ryeowook… They’re over by that mound of dirt… Where are Han Geng and Heechul; don’t tell me they’re in the house…” He scanned and found Han Geng carrying Heechul towards the outdoor blanket Leeteuk used mostly for picnics. “I think Heechul and Han Geng are playing House, go ask to play with them.” He tried not to picture his children pretending to be married; relationships in his home amongst his kids would only mean drama that he wasn’t ever going to be ready for.
Donghae shrugged to Eunhyuk and skipped of towards the pair and the blanket. Eunhyuk looked once again to make sure Kangin truly was alright before following his friend. Kangin sighed and glanced at his work.
There were a few boards nailed together here and there, but nothing that resembled a house, or even a crude box. He cast a sad glance at the directions he had gotten from the DIY website. There was no way that this was only a simple skill project. With a sigh he picked up his saw and resumed work yet again.
“Hey Eunhyuk, Donghae, Han Geng… I brought over the music from that new routine I’ve been working on. I wanted your help.” Taemin announced as he walked into the house.
“Oh Taemin you’re here already, is Onew coming?” Leeteuk popped out of the kitchen adjusting the scarf he had wrapped around his neck.
“Yeah he’s right behind me. You look good! Plan on picking up a few guys at some of the bars, perhaps get a free drink or two?”
“He better not,” Kangin growled, coming up behind Leeteuk and looking him up and down. The white long-sleeved polo and black vest combo did look good on Leeteuk and Kangin immediately felt the urge to have his husband march back to the bedroom and change, but he knew Leeteuk wouldn’t like that. “You look good.” He pecked his husband on the cheek as Onew walked in.
“Wow, Leeteuk… Kangin?...” A hand was quickly clasped over his mouth when he realized what had slipped out.
“What?... What’s wrong?”
“Could you show any more skin? I thought you said Leeteuk was Umma, he has to top if you’re dressed like that.” Heechul came walking into the living room shaking his head.
Kangin immediately looked down at his low scoop neck grey long-sleeve shirt and then back to his son. “What do you mean?”
“I mean you’re more flamboyantly gay then your drama-loving-bunny-obsessed-pink-devoted child. Which is definitely saying something.” Heechul sat down on the couch and glanced over at the terrified looking Onew, and Taemin who was trying to hide his own laughter.
“It is a little low…”
Kangin spun around to look at Leeteuk. “You’re agreeing with him?”
“Half of your chest is exposed… what if some guy tries to hit on you…”
Kangin laughed. “Then I’d just flash him the ring on my finger.” Leeteuk frowned.
“If I asked you to go change would you?”
“No… but I’m not revealing half of my chest.”
“And yet you got the compliment, not me.” Leeteuk frowned.
“If you let them buy you even one drink… I have eyes everywhere you know.”
“That’s just because Junsu would feel that that was something you needed to know. I won’t, trust me.”
Kangin pecked Leeteuk on the forehead. “Alright… But next time we go out I think you should wear something like that.”
“He just wants to flaunt what he has,” Taemin chuckled from the doorway.
“Can’t see why?” Ji Yong stated stepping in around Onew and Taemin. Sungmin, as if summoned by his voice, appeared and pounced.
“Hi there buddy, you’re slacking! I got in the door and made a snide comment before you got me.” Sungmin twisted his wrist a little more and Ji Yong inhaled. “Good to see you too.”
Onew again looked shocked and this time Taemin actually did break out in laughter though it was undecided as to whether it was from Ji Yong’s comment, or his predicament.
“Tonight’s going to be interesting,” Taemin commented stepping in further.
“Hopefully not too interesting. Sungmin, let Ji Yong go please,” Leeteuk asked politely knowing that was the best way to get him to do what you wanted. Sure enough Ji Yong was freed and Sungmin left the room as if all were good.
“I like interesting.” Taemin shrugged. “Are the kids in their bedrooms?”
“I think most of them are playing House again in Donghae’s room.” Kangin told him.
“Great, I’m just going to go show them this.” He took his CD player and walked deeper into the house, in search of children.
“We’re late,” Ji Yong announced to Leeteuk, “and Seunghyun is in the car waiting for you.” He pointed to Kangin.
“Have a good time,” Onew called out as they rushed out the door. He set his and Taemin’s overnight bag next to the couch. They had been offered Kangin and Leeteuk’s bed, but the couch was great too. It wouldn’t have been the first time he and Taemin had crammed themselves onto a couch to sleep, and this one looked bigger than the one at Onew’s parents’ house.
He smiled at the thought of it; Taemin cutely curled on his chest back at home on his parents’ couch. Sure, things might not have been great at the time, but they made it through and now they were here, and they were happy. His books were going strong, Taemin was a famous well-renowned choreographer, they had the house of their dreams, and they were together.
A thud alarmed his pleasant musings and he forced himself out of the chair across the hall and into the room that was the source of the noise.
“Loving you is causing me to change
And it hurts so bad, it don’t feel the same
And now my friends are asking me, what did I do?
I done hurt myself over loving you.”
Taemin was in the center of the room surrounded on each side by Eunhyuk, Donghae, with Han Geng behind, and they were moving through pretty much the same moves. He sighed relieved that no one was hurt and Taemin looked up with a smile.
“I can see now how they inspire you; I’m going to have some major competition when these boys get old enough to choreograph by themselves.” He laughed and ruffled Han Geng’s hair.
Onew had to smile, and wondered if maybe they should adopt a kid.
A/N: Gah! Sorry, i overestimated the power if wifi... One would think that between 2 mcdonalds and a hotel.... someone's wifi would be avaiable but I guess thats to much to ask... ANyways I apologize again posting will hopefully continue as promised, and still two days until new update!